Promoting Responsibility Newsletter -
September 2001
PROMOTING DISCIPLINE & LEARNING
Companion to www.MarvinMarshall.com
The Monthly Newsletter
Vol. 1, No2
September, 2001
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IN THIS ISSUE:
1. Welcome
2. Promoting Responsibility
3. Increasing Effectiveness
4. Improving Relationships
5. Your Questions Answered
6. Public Seminars
7.
What others are saying about the book:
 "DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS,
PUNISHMENTS or REWARDS
How
Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility & Learning"
8. About this Newsletter
Welcome to
a new school year. How fortunate educators are to be in
a profession where renewal is fostered each year!
Classroom
teachers in particular are in a rare position to
personally grow by what is learned about and from their
new students. In addition, one of the joys of the
profession is to be given afresh the opportunities to
expand the horizons of lives and enlighten and empower
others.
May this
academic year be most successful for you and those whom
you influence.
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| 2. PROMOTING
RESPONSIBILITY |
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Language
helps shape behavior.
Give young
children a cookie and say to them, "I will return in a
few minutes -- and will give you something else if you
haven't eaten the cookie until I return. "If you were to
watch the young ones through an observation window, you
would see some youngsters talking to themselves
attempting to control their impulses. Those without
language skills will be seen making all kinds of
contortions and movements in attempts to control
themselves.
Control is
easier with appropriate language.
In his
classic, futuristic novel, "1984, " George Orwell makes
the point of how language shapes thinking. If there were
no word for freedom, the concept would be difficult to
communicate. Language not only assists communication, it
helps shape it.
Saying, "I
am angry" communicates a state of being. In contrast, as
soon as we phrase the emotion as an action such as, "I
am angering," we immediately become aware of a choice.
Changing the adjective to a verbal form empowers you to
choose your response to an emotion.
Taking
conscious control of self-talk can act like a magic wand
to shift to more empowering and controlling mental
states. Young people can be taught to self-talk in
enabling and self-powering ways. Phrases such as
"prompts me" and "stimulates me" can be substituted for
the powerless "made me" and "caused me."
Additional
words that reduce "victim" thinking are references to
"influence," "persuade," "arouse," "irritate," "annoy,"
"pique," and "provoke." These words do not give away
power; they merely describe the effect on oneself.
Also,
instead of thinking, "The task is too difficult" young
people can be taught to take charge by eliminating the
"too" and by changing the word "difficult" into
"challenging" -- as in, "The task is challenging."
Another more subtle language pattern is the ill use
of "try." "Try" merely conveys an attempt. Self-talk
should convey commitment. A person does not get out of
bed by trying to get out of bed or make a phone call by
trying to call. You get out of bed and you make a call.
This type of self-talk is the hallmark of success. As
Henry Ford so aptly put it, "If you think you can, you
can; if you think you can not, you can not. Either way
you are right."
Another
approach is to teach young people to ask themselves
proactive questions. "What would be the best way to act
in this situation?" "How can I best respond to that?"
"How can I prevent that urge from directing my
behavior?" These types of questions empower people and
assist in fostering individual as well as social
responsibility.
It is no
kindness to treat people as helpless, inadequate, or
victims -- regardless of what has happened to them.
Kindness is having faith in people and treating them in
a way that encourages and empowers them to handle their
situations, stimulations, and urges.
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| 3. INCREASING
EFFECTIVENESS |
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A story
about the legendary escape artist, Harry Houdini,
demonstrates the danger of mistaken assumptions.
According to the tale, Houdini began his career by
traveling throughout Europe visiting small towns and
challenging the local jailer to bind him in a
straightjacket and lock him in a cell. He had no trouble
until he reached a small Irish village. In front of a
crown of townspeople and newspaper reporters, Houdini
easily broke free of the straightjacket, but he failed
to unlock the cell.
After
everyone had left, Houdini admitted defeat and asked the
the jailer to release him. Then the jailer confessed the
trick. He had never locked the the cell door. Houdini
had succeeded in locking himself in.
Marcia Wieder, who tells the story, asks, "Where is
the Houdini in your life?"
We often lock ourselves in -- rather than break out
of our "cell." This is because we do that which FEELS
comfortable. We continue to engage in activities because
we become accustomed to what we do -- regardless of how
ineffective, unproductive, and wrong they may be.
I have a tendency to be goal directed. Having a goal
in my pursuits feels right to me. I almost lost my life
-- along with my wife's and daughter's because of it. We
were cross-country skiing in Yosemite on a beautiful
winter day heading out for a magnificent view.
Unfortunately, we left too late in the morning, but that
did not stop me from reaching my goal of the view from
Dewey Point. By the time we reached our destination, ate
our lunches, and started the return to our motorhome,
the shadows from the tall pine trees hid the view of the
trail markers. At 1:00 in the morning, we concluded that
we would not make it back that night. We survived by
huddling in a dry area and getting up every fifteen
minutes to run in place to keep warm during the 15
degree (Fahrenheit) temperature.
Although I still enjoy knowing the direction I am
headed, I unlocked the cell of my compunction to reach a
goal at all costs. Interestingly, I have become more
effective. Just ask my wife and daughter.
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| 4. IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS |
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The Gallop
Poll has been monitoring people's opinions after
presidential elections since the 1960's. Three
characteristics of the candidates are polled: loyalty to
party, issues, and likability. Of the three
characteristics, the one that is most important in
determining the outcome of the election is the
candidate's "likability factor."
We all
want to be liked -- which leads to a major mistake of
many new teachers -- especially secondary teachers,
viz., attempting to have their students like them by
befriending them. This often takes the form of
encouraging students to call them by their given name,
rather than by their surname, and generally to place
themselves on the same level as their students.
Certainly, teachers should be friendly, but
friendship is not the way to build likability -- nor is
it the building block young people need. Encouragement
and empowerment are the essentials.
A first grader did not learn how to read. She
repeated first grade. At the end of the year, assessment
again showed she lacked sufficient reading skills to
advance to the next grade. During the assessment meeting
where the teachers were considering placement of
students for the upcoming school year, a second grade
teacher said, "Place her in my classroom for next year."
On the first day of school as the low self-esteemed
youngster walked into the classroom, her new teacher
cheerfully greeted her at the door: "I've been waiting
for you. This year I'm going to teach you how to read."
Today, that second grader is a reading teacher. I
heard her tell the story of how she still remembers
comments her second grade teacher continually made to
encourage and empower her.
The relationships that students have with their
teachers come from the influence teachers have on them.
This results from empowering young people, rather than
by befriending them.
As in instructional coordinator in an urban high
school in Los Angeles, I witnessed how students exerted
enormous effort for the quietest, oldest teacher I have
ever met. This builder of young people did not befriend
her students but rather encouraged and empowered them to
do their best.
Did her students like her? They loved her.
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| 5. YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED |
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Question:
This September will begin my second year of teaching.
Last year I had trouble with behavior in my classes (7th
grade). I have attended your seminar and have been
reading your book; I like what you have to say -- it
makes sense to me.
I would
like to begin teaching the four levels of classroom
behavior right away, but I have some reservations. My
question: How soon should I begin to teach your system?
Colleagues keep telling me to be tough at the beginning
of the year, that it is easier to loosen up later in the
year than it is to try to regain control of an unruly
class. I am eager to try your system, but at the same
time I am concerned that if I don't use punishments and
consequences I will be perceived as "a pushover" by my
students.
Response:
Just ask
yourself two simple questions: (1) Is society today as
it was 20 years ago? Are young people today exposed to
the same media and messages as in former years? If you
believe society and young people are the same, then use
old approaches.
Suggestion: Look around and see how many of those who
are giving you counsel become stressed when a classroom
disruption occurs. Those teachers who get stressed have
it backwards. When a student acts inappropriately in the
classroom. the STUDENT -- rather than the teacher -- is
the one who should experience stress.
The keys to influencing behavior are: (1) have high
expectations and (2) empower your students so they want
to be responsible -- rather than overpowering them by
using coercive approaches of threats and imposed
consequences.
You accomplish the first by teaching benchmarks,
i.e., what is expected. That is the purpose for teaching
the four levels of social development/classroom
behavior.
You accomplish the second by letting your students know
that you are more interested in their becoming
responsible than you are in teaching toward obedience.
You communicate in positive terms. Be constantly aware
of the tendency for your messages to come out in the
negative. Continually ask yourself, "How can I say that
in a positive way?"
Hone in on the skill of asking reflective,
self-evaluative questions, e.g., "Is that helping you
get your work done?"
If you are still unconvinced, ask your students which
they would prefer. If they choose for you to promote
responsibility rather than obedience, let them know that
this approach is CONTINGENT upon their acting
appropriately -- level C or D.
In addition to teaching the benchmarks of behavior, be
sure you TEACH PROCEDURES. Don't just tell students how
to settle down, how to quickly get their attention when
you want to speak, how to collect papers, etc. HAVE THEM
PRACTICE THE PROCEDURES.
If you
teach the benchmarks (levels) and your students see your
faith and trust in them, and if you teach them routines
of how you expect things to be done, you will experience
the true joy that classroom teaching offers.
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FOR K-12
Educators, Youth Workers, and Parents
DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS, PUNISHMENTS or REWARDS
Promote Responsibility and Learning
SPONSOR: Staff Development Resources
Request a
brochure for information. CALL 800.678.8908
El Paso, TX October 24
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IL November 14
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Burbank, CA March 14
Ontario, CA March 15
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So. San Francisco March 20
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7. WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THE BOOK:
"DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS,
PUNISHMENTS OR REWARDS
How Teachers and Parents
Promote Responsibility & Learning"
|
|
"This
fascinating, insightful book is more than technique; it
has practical suggestions on 100+ common issues most
parents and educators face. It breathes a sound
philosophy and way of thinking that empowers us, instead
of our constantly looking to others for solutions."
Stephen R. Covey, Ph.D.
Author of THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
Carried by:
National
Association of Elementary School Principals
National Association of Secondary School Principals
National School Boards Association
Phi Delta Kappa International
National Professional Resources
Performance Learning Systems
The Brain Store
ORDER
INFORMATION:
800.606.6105 - fax 714.995.3902 (purchase orders)
http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com
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REPOSTS and REPRINTS:
Permission to repost or reprint this newsletter in whole or in
part is granted as long as the following link is included:
http://www.MarvinMarshall.com.
COPYRIGHT:
© Copyright 2001 Marvin Marshall. All rights reserved.
PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your address will always be kept confidential
and will not be released to anyone.
Back issues are archived online at:
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