Discipline Without Stress Punnishments or Rewards

Discipline without Stress® Punishments or Rewards

How To Promote Responsibility & Learning

Dr. Marvin Marshall expert on discipline and classroom management
 
 

  PROMOTING DISCIPLINE & LEARNING
Monthly Newsletter:

 
 
"Collaboration is more effective than domination"

Dr. Marvin Marshall

 

Promoting Responsibility Newsletter - February 2004


PROMOTING DISCIPLINE & LEARNING
Companion to www.MarvinMarshall.com
The Monthly Newsletter

Vol. 4, No 2
February, 2004


http://www.MarvinMarshall.com


Our circulation is now 5579--

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IN THIS ISSUE:

 1. Welcome

 2. Promoting Responsibility

 3. Increasing Effectiveness

 4. Improving Relationships

 5. Your Questions Answered

 6. Implementing The Raise Responsibility System:
    Free Mailring
    Your Questions Answered
    Impulse Management Posters and Cards

 About the book
  
 About the Author

 About this Newsletter


1. WELCOME

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Perhaps the most respected, influential, and most cited journal in the field of education is the PHI DELTA KAPPAN. The publisher, Phi Delta Kappa International (PDK, is an international association whose mission is to promote high quality education, in particular publicly supported education, as essential to the development and maintenance of a democratic way of life. This mission is accomplished through leadership, research, and service in education.

PDK has recently established a new category of membership designed to serve non-educators--parents and others interested in education. Subscription to the PHI DELTA KAPPAN is included in the membership.

If you are interested in keeping informed of educational practices, theories, and controversies, you are invited to join Phi Delta Kappa International. For information, contact Membership Director Billie Spellman at 800.766.1156 or e-mail her at mailto:bspellman@pdkintl.org.

"USING A DISCIPLINE SYSTEM TO PROMOTE LEARNING" will be a featured article in their March edition. The article is co-authored by Marv Marshall and Kerry Weisner.

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2. PROMOTING RESPONSIBILITY

There is at the heart of the concept of responsibility the beautiful idea that it is about response (RESPONS-ability)-- which means it always has to do with relationships.

Responsibility is inherently mutual. Jean-Jacque Rousseau stated it well when he proclaimed that there is no meaning of responsibility that does not carry mutuality.

Later this month I will be speaking at the conference of the National Association of Secondary School Principals (NASSP), and this idea will be the thrust of my presentation.

So often we treat and confuse responsibility with obedience--as if responsibility can be imposed. There is a failure in the structure of imposition because it lacks mutuality. Although we think we give responsibility, responsibility must be TAKEN if it is to be implemented--hence its mutuality.

Responsibility has a counterpart: accountability. One reason that people resist imposed accountability is that the people at the top tell others what they are accountable for but not what they, themselves, are accountable for.

If you expect someone to be responsible and therefore accountable for OPTIMAL performance, then influence him or her to WANT to be so. An easy way to do this is to tell the person in what ways YOU will be accountable.

If you are a leader, simply explain in what ways the other person can count on you (safety, staying abreast of company policies, working environment--to name just a few). If you are a school principal, inform the staff in what ways the faculty can count on you (mutual respect, professional recognition, cooperative evaluations, etc.). If you are a teacher, inform students in what ways they can count on you (providing a classroom where students will WANT to spend their time, planning on your part to present meaningful and important lessons, engaging activities, etc). If you are a parent, the same applies (providing food, shelter, a loving
relationship, someone to trust to protect their well-being, etc.)

To put the concept in easy-to-remember terms, collaboration is more effective than domination.

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3. INCREASING EFFECTIVENESS

The amygdala (Greek for almond) is composed of two almond-shaped emotional storage areas above the brain stem. It developed before the thinking part of the brain developed and prompts immediate reaction--the so-called "fight or flight" syndrome. As the amygdala does not differentiate between physical or psychological threat, so the mind often does not differentiate between fantasy and reality. You can tell yourself almost anything you want and you can believe
it. Consequently, what you think has an effect upon how you feel.

Other people can sense your feelings and your mood. They can even sense your feelings over the phone.

Whether you have a negative or a positive feeling while you are talking, the other person can notice it. We detect emotions without a word being said. Think of a time when you entered a room just after the people already in the room have had an argument. You didn't hear the argument, but you sensed it. What was the first thing you wanted to do? The question became one--not of leaving--but of how fast you could.

Whenever I want someone else to think/feel positive thoughts, I must experience positivity first--with the knowledge that it becomes communicated before my saying a word.

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4. IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS

If you work to make your spouse lose so you can win, then you need to ask yourself a question: Do you really want to live with a loser?

W. Edwards Deming

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5. YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED

QUESTION:

After a presentation in Bermuda on February 5, the question was asked me whether I am a traditionalist or a progressive.

RESPONSE:

Interesting question! I had never been asked this before. It is a fascinating question. Here is how I responded.

My guiding mission is to foster responsibility. This is the foundational characteristic of those values and practices necessary for a civil, enlightened, and democratic society. Therefore, if you desire to label me, you would call me a traditionalist. But then consider the following.

W. Edwards Deming was the American who brought quality to manufacturing while simultaneously reducing costs. The most prestigious manufacturing award given in Japan is the Deming Award. Yet, Dr. Deming used a nontraditional approach --collaboration, rather than domination.

In this regard, traditional approaches for promoting responsibility are not successful enough with far too many young people today. Society has changed, but we are still using former approaches that worked with former generations and expect them to work with the current generation.

A tongue-in-cheek example of how society has changed is illustrated by the youngster sitting in the back of the car with his knapsack packed while his mother says to her neighbor, "He's running away from home but expects me to drive him."

Every time I present to primary school teachers, someone comes up to me sharing the frustration about the increasing numbers of youngsters entering kindergarten with very little self-control and lower levels of social interaction skills.

Try to use coercive approaches with these young people --really any person today regardless of age--and in return you will receive resistance, disrespect, rebellion, and/or outright defiance.

Using traditional COERCIVE approaches with today's youth to promote responsibility and traditional values is simply not nearly so effective as using NONCOERCIVE approaches. Is this being progressive?

The label is your choice.

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6. Implementing the RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM

You can share and learn more about the
RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RaiseResponsibilitySystem.

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QUESTION:

The Raise Responsibility System discipline approach is referred to as simple-to-implement. I find that I continually have to be aware of being positive, offering choices, and asking reflective-type questions. I wonder if others also find using these three practices and implementation of the system "simple."

RESPONSE:

SIMPLE does not mean EASY (at first). It is simple in that ONLY THREE principles--not a dozen or so--need to be practiced. In addition, the Raise Responsibility System (RRS) has only three parts--TEACHING the concepts, ASKING reflective questions, and ELICITING a procedure to redirect impulses.

Learning how to drive an automobile is SIMPLE, but it only becomes EASY after you have driven for awhile.

Deciding ahead of time not to eat dessert at a banquet may be SIMPLE. But when the plates from the main course are removed and the cheesecake is placed in front of you, your original decision may not be so EASY to implement.

When I first decided to run in the mornings--rather than in the evenings--I found the decision quite SIMPLE. I set the alarm for an early morning rise. As I had expected, the alarm rang early the next morning and I heard my self-talk: "Getting up this early is crazy." I went back to sleep. At the time, I was a high school assistant principal with a student body of 3,200. Since I was in charge of all student discipline as well as all co-curricular activities, I would arrive home at various late hours. Knowing that if I were to continue running regularly, the running would have to be done in the mornings, so that evening I again set my alarm for an early morning rise. I awoke and ran. That was years ago. I have never returned to running in the evenings. My original decision was SIMPLE. Getting up earlier than I was accustomed to was not EASY. Still today, I would not have it any other way.

At the end of a personal presentation of the RRS to a school or district, people leave with three simple practices to implement and a simple system to use. The implementation is up to them. I never say it is EASY. But I do emphasize that the more they practice the principles and implement the system, the easier it becomes, the more responsibility they will promote, the more effective they will be, the more improved their relationships will become, and the less
stress they will feel. And, they WILL see success from the beginning.

However, there must be conscious awareness in implementing the approaches (3 principles to practice and the 3 parts of the RRS). They ARE SIMPLE; but it's just not EASY to change approaches (read habits) and always be alert to our options.

We don't teach the Ten Commandments and then expect people to implement them all their lives. The Commandments need to be regularly revisited.

We don't practice a set of procedures one time and then expect them to be set in place to run themselves. We're dealing with humans--not machines--and therefore constant awareness and practice are necessary. As we (or others) practice, new neural connections are made and implementation does become easier AND simpler.

People who reflect, evaluate, and are conscious of their practices are engaging in one of life's greatest joys--striving for improvement and reaping the satisfactions that result.

On February 12, after speaking to a school district in New Jersey, I asked the school principal (who convinced the district to have me present) how she originally found out about the Raise Responsibility System. She told me that she heard me at a conference and asked someone who was assisting by passing out impulse management cards his reaction to the program. That Arizona principal told her, "Those teachers who implement the system are sad when school ends; those who do not are glad when school is over."

The New Jersey principal who heard about the RRRS has been implementing it for the past one and one-half years and has convinced the entire district to try it.


You can share and learn more about the
RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM (RRS) at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RaiseResponsibilitySystem

 


IMPULSE MANAGEMENT POSTERS and CARDS

Learning a procedure to respond appropriately to impulses is described on the Impulse Management link at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html

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7. About the Book

   "DISCIPLINE WITHOUT STRESS, PUNISHMENTS OR REWARDS

    How Teachers and Parents Promote Responsibility & Learning"


"This book should be required reading for student as well as credentialed teachers."

Dr. Don Brann, Superintendent
Wiseburn School District, Hawthorne, CA
Co-Founder, California Small School Districts Association

A descriptive table of contents, three selected sections, and additional items of interest are posted at:
http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marvin Marshall presents keynote speeches and seminars to CORPORATIONS, ASSOCIATIONS, and EDUCATIONAL GROUPS.

If you are looking for a speaker for your organization or know others who are, please refer them to
http://www.marvinmarshallpresents.com.

A short (8 minutes) presentation is available for viewing online..

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ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER

REPOSTS and REPRINTS:
Permission to repost or reprint this newsletter in whole or in part is granted as long as the following link is included: http://www.MarvinMarshall.com.

COPYRIGHT:
© Copyright 2004 Marvin Marshall. All rights reserved.

PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your address will always be kept confidential and will not be released to anyone.

Back issues are archived online at: http://www.marvinmarshall.com/newsletter/index.htm

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Dr. Marvin Marshall
P.O. Box 2227
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

Phone: 800.255.3192

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P.O. Box 2227
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Phone: 800.606.6105

 
Leadership Responsibility

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