Discipline without Stress^® Punishments or Rewards

Promoting Responsibility Newsletter - March 2004

PROMOTING DISCIPLINE & LEARNING
Companion to www.MarvinMarshall.com
The Monthly Newsletter
Vol. 4, No 3
March, 2004

http://www.MarvinMarshall.com

IN THIS ISSUE:

 1. Welcome

 2. Promoting Responsibility

 3. Increasing Effectiveness

 4. Improving Relationships

 5. Implementing The Raise Responsibility System:
    Free Mailring
    Your Questions Answered
    Impulse Management Posters and Cards

 About the book
  
 About the Author

 About this Newsletter

In order to make access easier, the website at http://www.MarvinMarshall.com has been completely revised. The number of navigation links has been reduced, and information on text pages and articles have been made easier for online reading.

The PHI DELTA KAPPAN has a readership of over 100,000 and is the most quoted journal in education. The featured article in this month's March, 2004, issue is entitled, "HOW TO USE A DISCIPLINE SYSTEM TO PROMOTE LEARNING."

In the article, I describe how I developed the Raise Responsibility system (RRS) using my experiences as a teacher, counselor, principal, and district director of education.

The article explains how theories of experts complement the system. Some viewpoints of the following well-respected authorities are described: Stephen Covey (his first habit of highly effective people: proaction), Abraham Maslow (hierarchy and autonomy),  Douglas McGregor (Theory X and Theory Y), William Glasser (taking responsibility for one's own behavior, noncoercion, investing little if any time in determining the reason for behaviors, and establishing a safe environment), W. Edwards Deming (collaboration, continuous improvement, and empowerment).

Kerry Weisner then shows how she uses the system to promote responsible behavior as well as to improve academic achievement. She explains the use of three principles (positivity, choice, and reflection) and gives an example of how internal motivation promoted learning in a way that external approaches could never accomplish.

You will enjoy the article that you can read online at http://www.pdkintl.org. Click on the second link: Kappan Magazine and then the current edition.

Please share it with others you believe may enjoy it or
learn from it.

Correction regarding the amygdala that I referred to last month:

What I wrote:

What I received:

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When a person subscribes to this newsletter, the automated system prompts an inquiry as to how the person found out about it. Responses range from parents seeking ways to reduce their stress and promote responsible behavior, to a search under "metacognition" (awareness of one's own thinking), and to the following response I received
yesterday:

I was led to your site via- http://www.usa-gymnastics.org/publications/technique/2004/3/biztips.html

I recently received this response from Tom W.

I responded:

Thanks for taking the time to respond.

You are very perceptive. When you use the approaches, you are engaging in a paradigm shift. To quote Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 1989, p. 125), "A paradigm is like a new pair of glasses; it affects the way you see everything in your life."

Being positive with oneself and others, being aware that we ALWAYS have a choice in our responses, and using reflection to actuate behavioral change is, for most of us, a paradigm shift. Practicing these three noncoercive principles promotes responsibility, increases our effectiveness, improves our relationships, and reduces stress.

In a way it is, as Covey says, like being fitted for and wearing new glasses. It takes a little getting used to, but the brain adapts by making new neural connections. The more we practice, the stronger the reinforcement, the more glial cells our brain manufactures, and the easier and more creative we are in the use of the principles.

So as not to fall back on previous habits and approaches, it is necessary always to be AWARE of our choices. This is what is meant in the expression, "Live in the present." You can do this very simply by saying to yourself before any action, "I am choosing to . . . ."

Teaching young people--and yourself--to start with this internal dialog, "I am choosing to . . . , " is perhaps the most effective way to live a more fulfilling life. The reason is that awareness is the first step toward being in control and changing unsuccessful habits.

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There's an old story of a young lady who was taken to dinner one evening by William Gladstone and then the following evening by Benjamin Disraeli, both eminent British statesmen in the late nineteenth century.

"When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England," she said. "But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England."

Disraeli obviously had a knack for making the other person
the center of his universe, if only for the evening. If you practice attentiveness to others, you'll find it does wonders. They will enjoy it, and so will you. You will accomplish much more.

Make a conscious effort to focus on others--their opinions, experiences, and stories--before you share your own. Then train yourself to focus on what unites you, rather than on what separates you.

William James, the father of psychology said, "The art of
being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." If you focus on others in terms of uniting, which means focusing with positive perceptions, your canvasses will provide satisfaction for both the artist and the viewer--you and the other person.

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Relationships can come with disappointments.

Suppose for example that as a subscriber to this electronic newsletter, you are inspired to write me prompted by something I wrote. Suppose also that I did not respond when you expected a response. Your natural reaction to my non-response is a "turn-off" towards me.

Cognition and emotion (as discussed in a previous e-zine -
See March, 2003) are so integrated in the functioning of the brain that they cannot be separated. Cognition prompts emotion, and here is a simple example. My lack of a response prompts a negative emotion that generates negative thoughts about the "total me." I am "written off."

It is possible that I never received the e-mail--that it is
out in the Ethernet someplace, that my filters considered it spam because of the title the writer put on the subject line, or perhaps the subject line was left blank and one of my filters categorized it as spam.

Just choosing to change your thoughts and reflect on what is positive about the person can immediately put a negative emotion in proper perspective.

If you dismiss people who disappoint you, the loss may be yours.

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You can share and learn more about the RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM (RRS) at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RaiseResponsibilitySystem

This month's question and response are from a post and
response taken from the mailring (with very slight modifications).

QUESTION:

I am considering a "rough draft" to modify the description
of the levels, which seem unclear to me.

My "rough draft" follows:

Level D - Democracy - Shows caring, kindness, respect, responsibility, and honesty because of INTERNAL motivation.

Level C - Compliance - Shows caring, kindness, respect, responsibility, and honesty because of EXTERNAL motivation.

Level B - Bothering - Bothers others which is neither appropriate nor acceptable.

Level A - Anarchy- Absence of order; aimless; procedures are not followed. Neither appropriate nor acceptable.

The above is my understanding and modification of the
system.

Is this correct?

Additionally, I am somewhat bewildered why there is a
defined difference between anarchy and "bothering others" because, to me, both bothering and anarchy are both indicative of "out of control" behavior and should therefore be placed into one category.

Any positive clarification would be greatly appreciated.

RESPONSE:

I think you do understand the differences between Level C
and D. The main difference between the two lies in the difference in motivation, just as you mentioned. An action at Level C and D can look identical. It is only the difference in the MOTIVATION that identifies one person's action as being at Level C and another person's as being at Level D.

Here is an example to clarify this point:

Students at Level C do home assignments--but only after
being reminded by a parent. At Level D, students complete
home assignments simply because they know that this is something that is expected. They don't wait to be reminded before starting. Either way, the action is the same; the home assignments are completed. Only the MOTIVATION is different.

Level C is an acceptable level of operation but it is
important for students to understand that it is not the
highest level to which a person can aspire. At Level C, the motivation for acting appropriately is EXTERNAL. In other words, the young person does the correct or right thing but is motivated from a desire to please, impress, or avoid the disapproval of an authority figure. At this level, people need something outside of themselves to motivate them to do the right thing.

At Level D, the highest level of social development, the motivation is INTERNAL. The student does what he/she knows to be the correct, right, kind, or responsible thing. The person does so out of a genuine desire to do the right thing. THE RIGHT THING IS DONE WHETHER OR NOT AN ADULT OR ANY ONE ELSE IS PRESENT.

Here are some more concrete examples of Level and C and D
behaviours:

Level C - Cooperation/Conformity

-Cooperating with the teacher when the teacher is present
in the room
-Fulfilling requirements, but doing little more
-Being kind to others only when an authority figure is
present
-Relying on a parent to give reminders to complete
chores, return library books, fulfill obligations, etc. -Doing something helpful specifically to impress others -Basing decisions on an outside influence (positive or
negative)
-Acting cooperatively and compliantly but showing
little initiative without direction

Level D - Democracy
-Acting with self-control and discipline whether or not an
adult is present
-Participating with the group in an appropriate manner out
of respect for others
-Choosing to be responsible by fulfilling obligations
willingly and without being reminded
-Befriending a peer simply because he/she seems lonely -Volunteering to help simply because it¹s obvious that help
is needed
-Showing initiative in one's learning
-Choosing to come to class well prepared
-Independently seeking help when necessary
-Deciding to speak up in defense of another who is being
treated poorly
-Seeking to be of service to others out of a genuine desire
to help
-Relying on one's own judgment, even when others make the
suggestion to do something inappropriate, unkind,
dangerous, etc.
-Taking responsibility for some unkind words by choosing to
apologize
-Sincerely thanking someone without being reminded

I purposely give you more examples of Level D than Level C, just as I do when I work with students to encourage you to focus most on this level in your teaching. Although the students must understand the key points of every level, DWELLING ON THE LOWER LEVELS WHEN TEACHING THE HIERARCHY IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.

I personally find that the more attention given to
concretely providing specific examples of Level D, and discussing the benefits of acting on this level, the more likely that young people will be motivated internally to aspire to these types of behaviours. This is one way in which we, as teachers, can inspire young people. With the RRSystem we can actually show students what it is they need to do in order to be operating at the highest level of social development.

It's worth noting that we cannot judge another person's motivation with complete accuracy. Within a classroom-- where all the children look as if they are doing the same thing, perhaps cooperating with the teacher and quietly doing their assignments--some will be operating on Level C and some will be operating on Level D.

A person's motivation can only be accurately determined by
that person himself/herself. That is why it's important that
as teachers we ask questions that promote self-reflection in our students. With the RRSystem, we are NOT TELLING the student what WE think of their actions and their motivations. Ideally, we are striving to have them think about what THEY think about their own actions and motivations.

It is this inner thinking and SELF-evaluation that lead to change and a higher level of behaviour. As an aside, it is just as important to help students reflect on their behaviour when they are acting at the higher levels as it is when they are operating on the lower levels.

As teachers, our goal is to have all students operating at least on Level C so that the classroom provides a civil and productive learning environment for all. Some students will choose to set their sights higher (Level D), and of course this is what we hope for as teachers, but it is not something over which we have direct control. We cannot force anyone to operate at a higher level, but by implementing the RRSystem and introducing young people to the hierarchy we can inspire them to WANT to act at the highest level, which is to be SELF-motivated.

The other important difference between Level C and D lies in the results. Consciously choosing to operate on Level D automatically results in great feelings of self- satisfaction. Such feelings significantly improve self-esteem. This sense of self-satisfaction does not accompany Level C in the same strong way as it does Level D. You might be interested in reading the following article on
self-esteem: http://www.nathanielbranden.net/ess/exc04.html

People operating on Level D develop a strong sense of self-esteem and personal power. Through the hierarchy we can teach students that when they consciously take charge of themselves (making responsible decisions, making appropriate choices), good feelings are a direct result. In fact, nothing feels better than to be in charge of yourself and know that you can depend upon yourself to do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do!

Another result of operating on the highest level is that
your relationships with other people improve as well. People operating on Level D inspire others to act in a similar way. They gain the trust of others and find that others return their kind, (respectful, friendly, etc.) actions.

As for your other question about the reason for having two levels of inappropriate behaviours rather than just one, you might be interested to look back in the RRSystem Archives to some previous posts that discuss this exact topic. The Message numbers are: 476 and 478

Kerry in BC

Kerry's explanation is right on target. My only addition is that Level C describes obedience, which is a necessary characteristic for a civil society.

Unfortunately, however, obedience does not create desire.

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You can share and learn more about the
RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM (RRS) at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RaiseResponsibilitySystem

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IMPULSE MANAGEMENT POSTERS and CARDS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Learning a procedure for responding appropriately to impulses is described on the Impulse Management link at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html

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Learning a procedure to respond appropriately to impulses is described on the Impulse Management link at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html

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"This book is a quick and enjoyable read, a sound contribution to education, and an excellent investment to every reader. Wise and timeless concepts, along with good sense and practical wisdom, are woven throughout the book in a logical sequence. Dr. Marshall¹s book deserves to be read
by every teacher and administrator."

Steve Hammond, Superintendent of Catholic Schools Diocese of Nashville, TN

A descriptive table of contents, three selected sections, and additional items of interest are posted at: http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com

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Marvin Marshall presents keynote speeches and seminars to CORPORATIONS, ASSOCIATIONS, and EDUCATIONAL GROUPS.

If you are looking for a speaker for your organization or know others who are, please refer them to
http://www.marvinmarshallpresents.com.

A short (8 minutes) presentation is available for viewing online..

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REPOSTS and REPRINTS:
Permission to repost or reprint this newsletter in whole or in part is granted as long as the following link is included: http://www.MarvinMarshall.com.

COPYRIGHT:
© Copyright 2004 Marvin Marshall. All rights reserved.

PRIVACY STATEMENT: Your address will always be kept confidential and will not be released to anyone.

Back issues are archived online at: http://www.marvinmarshall.com/newsletter/index.htm

If you enjoy this newsletter the following sites may be of Interest:

• This site explains the system that promotes discipline and motivation for academic achievement: http://www.MarvinMarshall.com
• This site explains how using external approaches are counterproductive to promoting responsibility: http://www.AboutDiscipline.com
• This site gives details on the book "Discipline Without Stress, Punishments or Rewards": http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com