Discipline without Stress^® Punishments or Rewards

Promoting Responsibility Newsletter - March 2005

PROMOTING DISCIPLINE & LEARNING
The Monthly Newsletter
Companion to www.MarvinMarshall.com
Volume 5, Number 3
March 2005

IN THIS ISSUE:

 1. Welcome

 2. Promoting Responsibility

 3. Increasing Effectiveness

 4. Improving Relationships

 5. Promoting Learning

 6. Implementing The Raise Responsibility System:
    How Your School Can Implement the System
   Your Questions Answered
    Free Mailring
    Impulse Management Posters and Cards

 A Comment about the RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM
  
 About the Book: DISCIPLINE Without STRESS

 About the Author

 About this Newsletter

 Additional Resource

February found me in Alberta, Canada, giving a keynote entitled, "Four Practices of Superior Teachers," followed by a "Discipline without Stress, Punishments, or Rewards" workshop to the Calgary Teachers Association. I think I also had the most humbling experience of my life.

I have been honored to speak in various locations around the world. Certainly presenting in Kuala Lumpur at the behest of the minister of education of Malaysia was an honor and a most gratifying experience. And I look forward to my May visit in Beijing where I will be presenting with a Chinese translation of the book. But what I witnessed the evening of February 17 was overwhelming. Fifty members of the Calgary Teachers Association had formed a Marvin Marshall Book Club, and I was the invited speaker for their second meeting.

I know that various schools have met to discuss the book. Kerry Weisner of British Columbia may have been one of the first to have a morning "Muffins with Marv." But the privilege of having a personal interchange with people who are already familiar with the book was an evening of joy that I do not expect to be surpassed.

One attendee apologized when I signed her book. She had numerous notes affixed to various pages. This was not the first time I had seen the book with numerous Post-its attached. Once I received an e-mail from someone telling me that it was the person's third reading and notes were still being affixed.

I thank all of you who have purchased the book and have found it to be both professionally and personally enriching.

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Although fear is usually self-talk, there are times when it is most difficult to think that it is not real. So rather than attempting to eradicate it, warm up to it.

We can learn from our children. Children don't say, "I can't because I'm afraid." For example, a youngster will get on a high diving board and dive off even though she has never done it before. She'll run to the parent with a great smile, and the parent will ask, "Weren't you afraid?" She'll respond, "Yes, I was afraid; I was really scared."

But a grown-up won't do the same thing. If you say to a grown-up, "Are you going to dive off the board?" the adult will say, "No, I'm afraid." The mental talk of the adults is, "If I'm afraid, I can't do it." But the truth of the matter is that you can do it even if you are afraid; it's just less comfortable than doing something you are not afraid to do. But if you do it a couple of times, you won't be afraid to do it anymore, and it will become more and more comfortable.

Rather than saying, "I can't do it,"--whether it is learning a new computer program, get going on the treadmill, or just acknowledging someone instead of evaluating the person--you can do it by easing into the task.

The Japanese have a word for it: kaizen. It comes from the words "kai" meaning school and "zen" meaning wisdom. Its core: Continuous progress comes from making small improvements towards a goal. "SMALL" is the key word. Just take one step at a time when trying something new. This "warming up" to the task will have you feeling competent and successful in a shorter period of time than you would have expected.

When promoting responsibility in ourselves or actuating responsibility in others, take small steps--instead of large leaps.

The familiar aphorism states this idea succinctly: Small strokes fell great oaks.
 

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Reject rejection.

Rejection does not prevent success; fear of rejection does. You should keep in mind that there is no rational reason to fear rejection. Reject the rejector, and go about your affairs.

The high school student applied to a prestigious university but was not accepted. The student was not accepted before the application was submitted and was not accepted after the application was submitted. In reality, the student is no worse off than if the application had not been submitted at all.

A few years ago when I was presenting for university extension programs around the country, one university where I had a desire to present did not hire me. My mentor in this endeavor was a psychologist who is an expert in "passive-aggressive" behavior--now referred to as "oppositional defiant disorder." (Dr. James Sutton http://docspeak.com) When I informed Jim of the university's decision, his remark to me was, "That's their loss." I took his approach; I rejected their rejection.

Interestingly, the same university now uses the book as their core text in a required course.

Treat the negative response as it deserves to be treated; reject it.

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The church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals kept nosing into other people's business. Several church members were unappreciative of her activities but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being a drunk after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and then walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of her house . . . and left it there all night.

This reminds me of what someone once said, "Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups."
 

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A few years ago, the former Secretary of Education, William Bennett, was asked by a 7th grader, "How can you tell a good country from a bad one?"

Dr. Bennett replied, "I apply the 'gate' test. When the gates of a country are open, watch which way the people run. Do they run into the country or out of the country?"

The question was an excellent one and prompted an excellent response. I think the same question could be applied to parenting, teaching, and any organization. If the people you deal with were exposed to other possibilities or opportunities, and if all other things were equal, would they stay with you--or would they leave you?

Consider taking an inventory. Are the people acting more like pioneers or prisoners? Are they more upbeat or downcast? Your inventory will tell you if your dealings are positive or negative.

Then, if you don't like the results of your inventory, select one thing at a time you can do to change. Don't wait for others to do something. Just focus on what you can do. Use the kaizen approach. Focus on one change at a time.

Another way of looking at it is to find what de-motivates. Then see what you can do to remove one of the de-motivators. You'll see instant results.
 

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The BENEFITS to a school CONDUCTING ITS OWN in-service can be seen at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/in-house.html.

Details--including differences between CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT and DISCIPLINE, THREE PRINCIPLES to PRACTICE, the three parts of the system, and how the system can be used to RAISE ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE--are described on the next link at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/in-housedetails.html.


QUESTION:

I attended your session at the Brain Expo in San Diego two years ago. I have put your ideas into practice in my classroom and am now researching the pitfalls of behaviorism and rewards and consequences for my Master's Degree.

I am looking at the variables of an autocratic classroom that uses rewards and consequences and a democratic classroom that uses expectations, choice, and reflection in classroom management.

RESPONSE

I shy away from describing a classroom as "democratic." I use the term, "Democracy," for level D because democracy and responsibility are inseparable--and the prime purpose of the hierarchy is to promote responsibility. I know that some teachers use the phrase, "democratic classroom," but I think it carries the implicit message that the students, rather than the teacher, are the the primary source for directing the learning.

There is also a little confusion in the second paragraph above regarding the comment of "... EXPECTATIONS, CHOICE,
and REFLECTION in classroom management."

CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT has to do with structure, routines, rituals, and procedures. In contrast, the RRSystem hierarchy promotes EXPECTATIONS; offering CHOICES increases effectiveness and improves relationships; and prompting REFLECTION is the most effective approach to promoting change in behavior. But they are not part of teaching procedures, which is the foundation of classroom management.

Harry Wong and I both gave presentations last month in Chicago at the annual convention of the Association of Teacher Educators. This is an association of college and university professors who teach future teachers. Dr. Wong's entire keynote had to do with teaching procedures. One comment he made should be heard by every teacher who assigns homework. As an award-winning and nationally recognized outstanding classroom teacher, he never assigned homework (home assignments) until the third week of school. His students were taught procedures regarding how to set up the homework and how to do it. After students knew precisely how to "attack" the challenge, had practiced doing homework in class, had reinforced the procedure--only then was homework assigned. The result: Rarely was a homework assignment not turned in. WHAT A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS AND NUMBER OF PROBLEMS THE VAST MAJORITY OF TEACHERS HAVE WITH THIS ASPECT OF LEARNING!

Read the article entitled, "Curriculum, Instruction, Classroom Management, and Discipline² at http://www.marvinmarshall.com/articles/promotinglearning/classroom_management.htm

The link at the following site will also assist:
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/in-housedetails.html

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You can post questions and learn more about the system at
the free user group (mailring support) at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RaiseResponsibilitySystem

Learning a procedure for responding appropriately to impulses is described on the Impulse Management link at
http://www.marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html

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"Your ideas about what motivates us have had a profound impact creating a positive environment for our children."

Pamela Blood
Child Care, Murrieta Valley Unified School District, CA

Published only in LAMINATED HARDBOUND COVER - $39.95 plus
shipping (California orders need to add sales tax.)

QUANTITY DISCOUNTS
Number of Books Discount Price
2-4 25% $29.96
5-59 40% $23.97
60-99 45% $21.97
100 or more 50% $19.98

Purchase orders and major credit cards accepted

Order information: 800.606.6105
E-mail - mailto:orderdiscipline@earthlink.net.
Internet orders:
http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com/sorder_form.html.

Piper Press
P.O. Box 2227
Los Alamitos, CA 90720

DESCRIPTIVE TABLE OF CONTENTS AND THREE SECTIONS ONLINE - A descriptive Table of Contents, three sections (Classroom Meetings, Collaboration for Quality Learning, and Reducing Perfectionism), plus additional items of interest are posted at: http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com.

SEARCH INSIDE You can view parts of the book online at Amazon's "Search Inside." On their home page,
http://www.amazon.com, in the SEARCH box on the left side, ENTER: Marvin Marshall. Click on "Go." When the book
appears, click on either the book cover or the title. When the book is in view, click on "SEARCH INSIDE." Scroll down
until you see an enlarged cover of the book. You can navigate these pages by using the arrows in the middle of
each page--or by using the "Previous Page" or "Next Page" links on the top and bottom of the pages. (The blank page is an error in formatting.)

Marvin Marshall presents keynote speeches and seminars to SCHOOLS, SCHOOL DISTRICTS, CORPORATIONS, and STATE and NATIONAL ASSOCIATIONS.

If you are looking for a speaker for your organization, please refer to http://www.marvinmarshallpresents.com.

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REPOSTS and REPRINTS:
Permission to repost or reprint this newsletter in whole or in part is granted as long as the following link is cited:
http://www.MarvinMarshall.com.

COPYRIGHT:
© Copyright 2005 Marvin Marshall. All rights reserved.

CONTACT INFORMATION:
Marvin Marshall, Ed.D.
Box 2227 - Los Alamitos, CA 90720 - 800.255.3192 (714.220.0678)
Mailto:Marv@MarvinMarshall.com.

If you enjoy this newsletter, the following site that explains how external approaches are counterproductive to
promoting responsibility will be of interest: http://www.AboutDiscipline.com.